Ah, the age-old question,one that’s driven people to pluck does-she-doesn’t-she daisy petals for almost forever: How to tell if a girl likes you. Flirting tends to come with sometimes aggravatingly subtle cues, making it hard to know if all your eyelash-batting is being reciprocated.
Consider me, who believed for months that I’d all but flashed in neon “Signs A Girl Likes You” at the person I’m now dating. Before writing this, I asked him when he was sure I liked him. His response? The first time I leaned over (with fish taco breath) and kissed him. At this point, I’d spent more than one month in full-on crush mode on this person, and take my word for it, there were signs.
So, to help you get to the bottom of whether your special someone is feeling you back, here’s how to tell if someone likes you via 27 signs. One or two of these showing up could be a coincidence, sure, or it could be signalling you’ve got a solid friendship with this person. The more of these signs a girl likes you that you recognise, though, the more you might feel sure you’ve got a mutual crush on your hands. And, FYI, these signs hold true no matter the gender identities involved.
So, how to tell if a girl likes you?
1. She seeks out and keeps eye contact with you
Researchers are still trying to understand the value and meaning of eye contact, but eye contact can express interest, making it one of the more common “does she like me?” signs to look out for. That said, neurodivergent people, including those with autism, often have a different relationship to eye contact. This sign someone likes you won’t apply to everyone.
2. She remembers small details about you
Attentiveness and attraction pretty much go hand-in-hand. If your crush remembers something you mentioned in passing one time five months ago, it’s either a sign they’ve got an uncannily good memory, that they like you back, or both.
3. She goes out of her way to spend time with you
It’s obvious, but telling. If someone has a crush on you, they’re more likely to make a point to spend time with you, even when it technically isn’t convenient for them. If you get they’re trying hard to be available to see you, it’s a good sign that they’re about it. (And the “it” is you.)
4. She asks you personal questions
If they seem genuinely eager to learn new things about your life and preferences and ask you specific questions about those things,that’s definitely a sign your crush could be reciprocated.
5. She smiles at you, a lot
If someone is often smiling in your presence, that’s a good indicator they enjoy—and maybe even really enjoy—being around you. When we crush, our brains release a whole bunch of chemicals that include the feel-good neuropeptide oxytocin, which may be one reason people tend to get giddily happy near their crushes. When they aren’t in the total throes of crush agony, that is.
6. She finds reason to touch you
…in hopefully a cute, consensual and not-creepy kind of way. If your crush seems to be looking for any reason to brush your arm, pat you on the back or tuck a loose lock of hair behind your ear, that could be a sign that she likes you back.
7. She physically “mirrors” you
A lot has been written about psychology’s “mirroring effect”, which, by the way, does show up between friends and family members too. In crush dynamics, if you have someone’s full interest, they’re likely to mirror back your facial expressions and posture, often unconsciously. It’s a physical expression of empathy and attentiveness, and it could be a sign they’re into you.
8. She keeps up-to-date on your social media activity
Trying to suss out someone’s feelings for you from your social media interactions is a slippery, and often emotionally un-fun, slope. For instance, reading meaning into how quickly someone sees your Instagram story and what it means if they’re listed at the top of your story’s viewers can be a minefield. While Instagram hasn’t officially gone on the record about the way its algorithm presents story views, the order more likely has to do with your own activity on the app versus someone else’s. Even still, if someone’s showing a clear pattern of wanting to know what you’re up to and looking for ways to engage with you, that can be evidence of a crush.
9. She fiddles with her appearance around you
We know, we know. As a sign a girl likes you, “she plays with her hair” sounds like a pretty dusty cliché. And yet, nervous people often fuss with their appearance, whether that means readjusting their clothing, messing with their hair or checking their makeup. And nervousness can be the calling card of a crush.
10. She seeks out ways to spend one-on-one time with you
There’s kind of no arguing with this one. If someone likes you, they don’t only want to spend time with you in a group setting, plain and simple. If they’re suggesting or enthusiastic about plans that would mean one-on-one time between you, that’s a good sign.
11. She playfully teases you
This isn’t the old “they’re being mean to you because they like you” take. If the person you like gently pokes good-spirited fun at you, that can be a form of forging intimacy and closeness.
12. She creates inside jokes with you
In the same vein as playfully teasing you, a person who likes you is likely to try to connect with you by creating jokes only you two will get. Do friends also do this? For sure, they do. But inside jokes with crushes are likely to have a flirty edge.
13. She sends you things that “remind her of you”
Be it a song or a meme, if someone is sending you things they think you’ll like, that’s a clear signal you’re on their mind.
14. She leans in toward you
This is related, in a way, to the mirroring we talked about earlier. People who like each other often unconsciously angle their bodies toward one another, sometimes pointing their feet toward one another too. Your crush could also lean in “to hear you better” when you’re pretty sure they could hear you just fine with six more inches of space between you. Seeking physical closeness even when touch itself isn’t involved is often a sign of attraction.
15. She licks or bites her lips
Our lips are sensitive to our emotional states, and biting or licking lips when in close proximity to someone you like is a tell-tale crush sign. It may even be a sign this person is thinking about being kissed by you. Just remember that nonverbal body language, even if it might seem clear, doesn’t replace the need to get verbal consent before going in for a smooch. Rather than ruining the mood, a well-timed “can I kiss you?” can come off as real smooth too.
16. It’s clear that she talks to her friends about you
Alternatively, you get the sense they’ve coached their friends not to make it seem like they talk about you.
17. She uses your name super often
This one’s got to be one of the oldest crush signs in the book. If someone is going out of their way to include your name in sentences that don’t strictly require it, whether in-person or by text, they may be into you.
18. She gives you ultra-specific compliments
Sure, a “you’re so funny” can be a sign of someone liking you but compliments that are highly specific to you as a person are a ready sign this person is paying attention to you, and may even want you to notice that they notice.
19. She keeps text conversations going…and going
Bring on the banter. Someone who likes you is more likely to find reasons to keep a text conversation going, no matter where it takes you, than to look for conversational exits.
20. She lets you in
Being vulnerable is important for closeness and connection, no matter the nature of the dynamic in play. If a girl has a crush on you, her choosing to let you into something personal about her life can be a way of inviting trust and testing the waters for a deeper connection.
21. When you talk, she actively listens
Active listening means being fully present. When you’re speaking, a person who likes you may show that they’re actively listening by nodding, leaning in and asking you specific questions about the things you share. Paying attention is kind of everything when it comes to figuring out whether someone likes you or not, or even if a person is close-friendship material. After all, we all want people in our lives who pay attention to us.
22. She’s made an effort to get to know people in your life
This is a clear way of showing real investment even before romance has officially been thrown into the mix. Opportunities to hang out one-on-one count for a lot, but in addition to those, you can try floating some plans that would bring your crush into the fold of your crew or family. If she likes you, she’ll want to take advantage of those chances to meet your people.
23. She shows keen interest in your future plans
Beyond showing investment in the people you care about, another major sign a girl likes you is the level of investment she shows in your future plans. Does she sit up a little straighter and ask you questions when talk of future goals and where you see life headed comes up? Someone with a crush on you will want to hear about your future in detail, including for the selfish reason of wanting to understand how they’d fit within it.
24. She gets (playfully) competitive with you
This one isn’t necessarily a shoo-in. On the flip side, maybe the person you’re crushing on can’t stand competitive people and wouldn’t take kindly to your references to beating them at a game or sport. For a lot of people, though, competition and flirtation are closely tied.
25. She lends you something
Because that means you’ll need to hang out again for her to get that book or other strategically shared possession back, naturally.
26. She’s rarely on her phone when you’re together
Not to sound like a broken record here, but attention. Are they giving it to you? If you’re wondering how to tell if she likes you, take note of the way she uses her phone when you’re together. We’re pretty much all battling a case of phantom limb syndrome with our phones these days but if she seems more interested in texting or scrolling than being fully tuned into you, that’s worth noting.
27. You tell her you like her, and she reciprocates
Want a truly fail-proof sign a girl likes you? Make your own feelings known and see how she responds. Boom.
Telling a crush that you like them can feel scary, but silently, agonisingly nursing a crush can often feel a whole lot worse. Not only that, but trying to play the cool, unbothered card is frequently a recipe for confusion and, more than that, for missing out. Who has time for that? Make your move and try to take expectations out of it. Life, love and dating are all better with surprises.